Human Abduction: Fact or Hollywood Hype?

[Beast Boy Cabana]

Hey,

Long time listener, first-time caller.? I was watching Sculley & Muldur re-runs on TNT, and I started to wonder. Do you guys really abduct humans or is this just paranoid hype that Hollywood exploits??

Or maybe it's just the govenment's way to scare its citizens from joining forces with the aliens. After all, if given the choice between our current crop of leaders or? advanced beings capable of such feats as intersteller travel, those politicians would be out of a job!

[Roman]

Do you guys really abduct humans or is this just paranoid hype that Hollywood exploits?   

Hi, Beast-- Welcome to the forums 

The Galactic Commonwealth, and the Great Council, absolutely forbids the large-scale abduction of indiginous species,  and such acts are punishable by death.

The spreading of such slandorous rumors, that is. Naturally, we wouldn't merit out a death sentence to a Commonwealth citizen merely for  nabbing a bunch of Earthlings against their will-- We're not heartless!

Much as it pains us, however, it is true that for decades  the Great Council funded the work of the  late Dr. Josef Mengele. The doctor operated a large laboratory that conducted horrific, unspeakable, so-called-"medical" experiments on human subjects. Nobody really knows why.

One of my first acts upon taking command of this outpost was to permanently shut down & dismantle  Dr. Mengele's research.

Cheers! --  Roman Cabana

[Vader]

Do you guys really abduct humans or is this just paranoid hype that Hollywood exploits?? ?

The Galactic Commonwealth, and the Great Council, absolutely forbids the large-scale abduction of indiginous species,? and such acts are punishable by death.

Okay, so you supposedly don't take humans anymore. Oops, I mean "we."


Not sure I buy that completely, but, whatever.


 Anyway, it's always seemed strange that these "incidents" always happened out in the middle of nowhere. Why was it only in remote cornfields, or lonely stretches of country roads? Why wasn't it ever a major city or metropolitan area? I mean, you land just outside Hicktown, you're the biggest thing to ever happen to that town. Everyone is going to be talking about it decades hence


But you land in the middle of Manhattan, where unusual, odd things happen moment to momet, who is going to remember it half an hour later?[/glow]

[Roman]

I mean, you land just outside Hicktown, you're the biggest thing to ever happen to that town. Everyone is going to be talking about it decades hence.


But you land in the middle of Manhattan, where unusual, odd things happen moment to momet, who is going to remember it half an hour later?

You know, that's a real good point. Anonymity & an ability to blend in has always been a hallmark of urban living.

Up to now we've avoided the cities because it's the only way to avoid the paparazzi-- Talk about a pain in the waste-disposal-chute! Can you imagine trying to get anything done with flashbulbs constantly going off in your face?

That, & there's a bit of impending  litigation lurking out there--  What with our past (and regrettable)  human abductions fiasco, the occasional airforce jet here & there that we accidently toasted, Hollywood film production companies who somehow  think that our being extraterrestrials somehow infringes on their copyright protections...

Can't go to court, if they can't find us to serve us (In your face, Spielberg!).

[quick77]

 Dear humans--
Your speculations about rural abductions are elementary. I can tell you for a fact, that I have been visiting your planet since about the time that the first slimy creature decided it was brave enough to crawl up on the beach, and I have never known any one of my colleagues to abduct any of you. Yes, aliens are real! No, we've never found the need to hypnotize and kidnap any of you. We live among you in all sorts of forms: animal, plant, as odorless invisible gas, and we've been observing you and this planet since before there was any such thing as a human. We know you better than you know yourselves, and the idea that we would need to do weird biological tests on you is so silly that I have a hard time even spending the time to think about it. Your stories of abduction in rural America are just that: stories. I think that it reveals a lot about what human fear more than anything: paralyzed, taken against your will, anully probed. As if we'd need to probe your anuses!!! We had your DNA fully catalogued and replicated on a thousand planets in other galaxies for a thousand years before your great pyramids were even built. Stop being so full of yourselves and worrying about aliens. Have a cheeseburger and a beer and swim in the ocean. It won't get any better than that.
Zon

[esther]

 I agree!!!I have never been around a race that is so full of themselves and full of Dubya too.  At the same time, they have such a fantastic planet to explore.   Have you been to the Grand Canyon??  How about Hawaii??  Wow!!Just list a couple things you can do here.  That is why some of us keep visiting and putting up with the human race.